Good start to the day this morning, got a very encouraging phone call from my estate agent about selling a property I've done up for almost double I paid for it (with the cost of refurb included!)
And I've been waiting for my return call all day only to find that every time the phone rings, it's the same guy asking me if I want to buy some kind of pointless computer software. I tried telling him no, then that I don't own a computer and bugger off but none of those worked. So this time I'm going to tell him that I'm dead. See if that makes him go away =^.^=
On another note, earlier today, I was driving when a guy in a van swerved in front of me. I didn't realise I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my 14 month old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop.
It's cute I'll admit, but I should really learn to watch my language more!
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Sunday, 26 June 2011
An update on my life this week
Well it was a Sunday so I thought I'd get all the crap done that I usually don't want to e.g. the fish-tank and sorting out my pc. So I did it. But it wasn't as nice as I thought...
While I was cleaning the filter in the sink, my dog Nikita came and stood next to me. So I stroked her, thinking she was coming for affection. And as she walked out of the room and my foot started to feel warm and wet, I realised that she'd actually pissed on my foot! Charming! I had to wash my feet in the bath and I will never wear those socks again. Damo found it extremely amusing the git!
Aside from that wet little incident, I've had a really good week, last weekend my husband and I went to Rhyll to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. It was lovely, ice-cream on the beach, walking round the sea-life center... Playing about in the fun-fair and other... More intimate activities ^_^
I did get quite annoyed on the Saturday, we were sitting in the food court of the sea life center and I was talking to Rielle on the phone, then after I hung up I was talking to Damo about how I feel a bit guilty about leaving her when we go for the occasional weekend away. It was at this point some old bitch in her 60's decided to pipe in and say we wertr a bad parents for leaving her at home. WHAT THE FUCK? WHO THE FUCK ASKED HER? AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING LISTENING IN ON OUR CONVERSATION???
Some people REALLY piss me off! I know the yeti and I are not the best parents in the world... But we do a damn good job! I know we do because people have commented on how Rielle smiles, that it's the smile of a happy child. I love my daughter more than anything, I would tear the world apart for her so for me to be called a bad parent really hurts... Never mind my husband! He's a brilliant father and I can think of no other man better qualified for the role of being a father... Sure he looks scary and unorthodox, but he's kind, loving and playful, he's the kind of man you read about in fairytales, the kind of men women dream about when it comes to the personality of their perfect man whenever they get screwed over by their "pretty boy"
Ugh... Some people!!!
With that aside, it's still been a good week, Tuesday was our anniversary and also the birthday of my bestest friend in the world and Rielle's god-mother, Serra. So we had a double celebration for that with all our friends and our kiddo's lol, had a big dinner and some cake that I made... We played Rock band and had a laugh, it was great.
Wednesday and Thursday was pretty average, nothing worth commenting on there and Friday we decided to celebrate Serra's birthday in style. We all went to the Comedy Store to watch Steve Hughes and a couple of other comics before bouncing over to my hubbies nightclub for a couple of hours. It was a great night out, especially when I'm the bosses wife so I get priority at the bar ^_^
To top it off, some guy found out the hard way why you shouldn't try to chat Serra up. It was strange actually because she played along which is something I've never seen her do... She moved in to kiss this guy whilst holding his hands and then "slipped" breaking a couple of this guys fingers on each hand.... I've not seen her laugh that manically in a while. It's nice to see she's found a balance between "mother" and "psychopath"... I must admit, I've missed "psycho" Serra since that side of her gave way to her more depressed side last November, though I can't really blame her for that. It's hard to lose a parent.
Anyway, I'm going to leave this here... I shall be updating again this Wednesday so look out for that.
Toodle-pip
While I was cleaning the filter in the sink, my dog Nikita came and stood next to me. So I stroked her, thinking she was coming for affection. And as she walked out of the room and my foot started to feel warm and wet, I realised that she'd actually pissed on my foot! Charming! I had to wash my feet in the bath and I will never wear those socks again. Damo found it extremely amusing the git!
Aside from that wet little incident, I've had a really good week, last weekend my husband and I went to Rhyll to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. It was lovely, ice-cream on the beach, walking round the sea-life center... Playing about in the fun-fair and other... More intimate activities ^_^
I did get quite annoyed on the Saturday, we were sitting in the food court of the sea life center and I was talking to Rielle on the phone, then after I hung up I was talking to Damo about how I feel a bit guilty about leaving her when we go for the occasional weekend away. It was at this point some old bitch in her 60's decided to pipe in and say we wertr a bad parents for leaving her at home. WHAT THE FUCK? WHO THE FUCK ASKED HER? AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING LISTENING IN ON OUR CONVERSATION???
Some people REALLY piss me off! I know the yeti and I are not the best parents in the world... But we do a damn good job! I know we do because people have commented on how Rielle smiles, that it's the smile of a happy child. I love my daughter more than anything, I would tear the world apart for her so for me to be called a bad parent really hurts... Never mind my husband! He's a brilliant father and I can think of no other man better qualified for the role of being a father... Sure he looks scary and unorthodox, but he's kind, loving and playful, he's the kind of man you read about in fairytales, the kind of men women dream about when it comes to the personality of their perfect man whenever they get screwed over by their "pretty boy"
Ugh... Some people!!!
With that aside, it's still been a good week, Tuesday was our anniversary and also the birthday of my bestest friend in the world and Rielle's god-mother, Serra. So we had a double celebration for that with all our friends and our kiddo's lol, had a big dinner and some cake that I made... We played Rock band and had a laugh, it was great.
Wednesday and Thursday was pretty average, nothing worth commenting on there and Friday we decided to celebrate Serra's birthday in style. We all went to the Comedy Store to watch Steve Hughes and a couple of other comics before bouncing over to my hubbies nightclub for a couple of hours. It was a great night out, especially when I'm the bosses wife so I get priority at the bar ^_^
To top it off, some guy found out the hard way why you shouldn't try to chat Serra up. It was strange actually because she played along which is something I've never seen her do... She moved in to kiss this guy whilst holding his hands and then "slipped" breaking a couple of this guys fingers on each hand.... I've not seen her laugh that manically in a while. It's nice to see she's found a balance between "mother" and "psychopath"... I must admit, I've missed "psycho" Serra since that side of her gave way to her more depressed side last November, though I can't really blame her for that. It's hard to lose a parent.
Anyway, I'm going to leave this here... I shall be updating again this Wednesday so look out for that.
Toodle-pip
Family matters
HO-LEEE SHIT!... My dad found these old pics of my sisters and I as sprogs the other day, I had to post them here, just for the hell of it... Plus a few more oldies and a couple new ones I have of my and my famalam
The old guy in one of the pics is my granddad... He died before I got to know him, seems to be a recurring theme for me, and the woman was a friend of my mums and the brown haired kiddo is hers, I dunno her name... I love Lillian though in the other two pics, even then she looks too young for her actual age.
I've also include pics of my sisters and I and me and Shmoo, and even me, Kari and her bestie Kayla from yonks ago.
And I also found one of me, 17 and moody as hell, Why I don't know because I'd pretty gotten with the man of my dreams at the time. I think I look like shit now, I looked cacka-dookie back then!! I have no idea what he saw in me, but I'm damn glad he saw something and still continues to see it. I wuv my yeti ^_^ <3
And of course, me and Rielle. (Who the fuck put her in blue... Probs her dad... The dickhead! Lol)
And yes, I'm quite aware of how extremely lazy this is!! (Edit update! I remember! My ma-in-law gave me some of Ashleys old clothes, even though it was boys stuff she thought I might want them anyway, some of it was actually ok gear)
Oh yeah... And little Laura meeting Mickey mouse.
And specifically for this update now it seems to have turned into a friends and fam fest, my bestest friend Serra has allowed me to post up some songs she wrote, sang and played (on Acoustic guitar) that she's recorded herself playing whilst trying to cope with the passing of her awesome mum this November gone. So enjoy. (yes some lyrics are different, but these were the note sheets she gave me to transcribe)
One step at a time
sometimes it's hard to say the right thing
the right way on the hardest day of your life
breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay
breathe in, they say the pain will fade away
and every year November gets closer
and every year it gets a little bit colder
breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay
breathe in they say the pain will fade away
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other
I'm gonna get through this one way or another
cause I know it's warmer where you are
cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you
sometimes it takes a second to sink in
that your life will never be the same again
breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay
breathe in they say the pain will fade away
and every year November gets closer
and every year it gets a little bit colder
breathe in breathe out it'll be okay
stay strong hold on make it through the day
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other
I'm gonna get through this one way or another
cause I know it's warmer where you are
cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you
I'll never forget the day my heart fell from my chest
it was the moment that I said goodbye
and I laid your body to rest
I'll never take this life for granted
I'm living it for two
cause you're always the one who sang the songs
and I'm singing this one for you
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other
I'm gonna get through this one way or another
cause I know it's warmer where you are
cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you
I'll always look up to you
Pieces
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess
Just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand
When I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I tried so hard
So hard
I tried so hard
In loving memory
Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting
But now I come home
And I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see
Chorus:
And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me
I carry the things
That remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me
I never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting
But now I come home
And it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone
Repeat Chorus
I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
But I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be here with me still
All you did, you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will
Repeat Chorus
Rest in peace Sandra.
The old guy in one of the pics is my granddad... He died before I got to know him, seems to be a recurring theme for me, and the woman was a friend of my mums and the brown haired kiddo is hers, I dunno her name... I love Lillian though in the other two pics, even then she looks too young for her actual age.
I've also include pics of my sisters and I and me and Shmoo, and even me, Kari and her bestie Kayla from yonks ago.
And I also found one of me, 17 and moody as hell, Why I don't know because I'd pretty gotten with the man of my dreams at the time. I think I look like shit now, I looked cacka-dookie back then!! I have no idea what he saw in me, but I'm damn glad he saw something and still continues to see it. I wuv my yeti ^_^ <3
And of course, me and Rielle. (Who the fuck put her in blue... Probs her dad... The dickhead! Lol)
And yes, I'm quite aware of how extremely lazy this is!! (Edit update! I remember! My ma-in-law gave me some of Ashleys old clothes, even though it was boys stuff she thought I might want them anyway, some of it was actually ok gear)
Oh yeah... And little Laura meeting Mickey mouse.
And specifically for this update now it seems to have turned into a friends and fam fest, my bestest friend Serra has allowed me to post up some songs she wrote, sang and played (on Acoustic guitar) that she's recorded herself playing whilst trying to cope with the passing of her awesome mum this November gone. So enjoy. (yes some lyrics are different, but these were the note sheets she gave me to transcribe)
One step at a time
sometimes it's hard to say the right thing
the right way on the hardest day of your life
breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay
breathe in, they say the pain will fade away
and every year November gets closer
and every year it gets a little bit colder
breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay
breathe in they say the pain will fade away
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other
I'm gonna get through this one way or another
cause I know it's warmer where you are
cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you
sometimes it takes a second to sink in
that your life will never be the same again
breathe in breathe out, it'll be okay
breathe in they say the pain will fade away
and every year November gets closer
and every year it gets a little bit colder
breathe in breathe out it'll be okay
stay strong hold on make it through the day
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other
I'm gonna get through this one way or another
cause I know it's warmer where you are
cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you
I'll never forget the day my heart fell from my chest
it was the moment that I said goodbye
and I laid your body to rest
I'll never take this life for granted
I'm living it for two
cause you're always the one who sang the songs
and I'm singing this one for you
one step at a time
one foot in front of the other
I'm gonna get through this one way or another
cause I know it's warmer where you are
cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you
I'll always look up to you
Pieces
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess
Just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand
When I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
I tried so hard
So hard
I tried so hard
In loving memory
Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting
But now I come home
And I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see
Chorus:
And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me
I carry the things
That remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me
I never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting
But now I come home
And it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone
Repeat Chorus
I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
But I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be here with me still
All you did, you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will
Repeat Chorus
Rest in peace Sandra.
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
My 10 favourite movies.
Yeah, sorry about last week... This took longer than I thought.
I love movies, they're a big part of my life... But these are my top 10 of all time.
In this post I shall name them, give a brief description and tell you just why I love them.
And in no particular order... Let's begin.
1. The Little Mermaid
What's it about?
It's a Disney adaption of the famous book by Hans Christian Anderson, it tells the story of a curious mermaid princess and her obsession with humans.
Her curiosity with a particular human causes her to fall in love and so she makes a deal with the sea witch so that she may be with him.
Why do I love it?
The film greatly varies from the original book and the two can be considered two completely different things in comparison.
Like most Disney adaptions of famous fairytales, it has been greatly toned down for a family audience, but it's still a great film and the story is superb.
The art direction is still great, even by todays standards and it was one of the first animated films to make use of CG.
It's bright and vibrant and colourful, the characters are extremely lovable and the songs are catchy and you'll find yourself singing them even days after you've watched the film.
Plus, I also remember watching this with my mother... We used to watch this film all the time, it's my best memory of her and every time I watch this film, it feels as if she's still watching it with me.
2. Alien Abduction: The McPherson tape
What's it about?
Also known as Alien Abduction: Incident in lake county to those of you in the USA. This film is one of those "it actually happened" movies, like The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity and shot with a hand-held camera.
It starts off with a family who has gathered together to celebrate Thanksgiving when the power goes out.
The three brothers go to investigate the source of the outage and stumble upon some aliens experimenting on cows.
The aliens see them and the brothers run back to the house, from here the family is terrorised in their own home by the visitors as they start picking off the family members one by one.
Why do I love it?
I first saw this when I was 11 years old, I watched it alone and in the dark... I actually believe it was real and it terrified me.
I've never like Aliens/Greys/Zetas or whatever you want to call them, they're creepy little fukcers with there big heads and large, slanted oval eyes. I'm scared to death of them
Even more, I'm scared to death of being "abducted" simply because they force you to forget about the experience.
The idea of going through something so traumatic and scary and not even remembering... That's just wrong.
I feel the family in this film is portrayed quite well and they actually come off as a believable family, the camera work is good and so are the SFX, or what little there is. It plays out a bit like a haunted house movie where there is a group of people that get picked off by the ghost one-by-one until they're all dead/only one survivor... Except this time they're aliens.
It's not scary to me any more, but it's still a good little film made exceptionally well considering its obvious low budget.
3. The War of The Worlds (1953)
What's it about?
A 1953 contemporary re-telling of H.G Wells 1898 book about a Martian invasion in Victorian England.
The film takes place this time in California and it differs quite differently from the book, like The Little Mermaid, the two mediums can be viewed as two different things, but share the same name.
A meteor crash lands and Martian war machines spring forth a couple of days later and the invaders begin systematically wiping out all human life, this happens the world over but we only see things from the point of Dr. Forrester and Ms. Van-Buren.
Eventually the invaders are destroyed, not by man, but by bacteria... They had no immunity to Earths diseases.
Why I love it:
I first saw this when I was 6 with my mum, actually a couple of months before she died and while the film didn't scare me, the idea of other life invading our planet did.
I used to have nightmares about it. This is the film that started me believing in alien life.
For a 1950's B movie, it holds up really well, even by todays standards and I find this version to be vastly superior to Spielbergs 2005 re-make (and all the other re-visionings of the story over the years)
The special effects were well done and still look great, even 58 years on and the film does a good job of capturing the hysteria of humanity during such a crisis.
The film spawned somewhat of a sequel in the 1980's TV series by the same name which I also found quite enjoyable... Especially when you get to see the iconic war machines once more.
This film is a must see top anybody who like sci-fi.
4. Megazone 23 Part I
What's it about?
A teenager, Shogo, from Tokyo Japan in the 1980's finds a motorcycle that is part of a secret government experiment, through further investigation he finds that the world he lives in is false and in reality it's a spaceship designed for colonising the human race while the Earth re-sustains itself, and it's 100 years later.
Another Megazone initiates attack at the two go to war, in the world itself everything starts going to shit as the military starts to take over.
Why do I love it?
Well, aside from being one of the main influences for the Matrix trilogy, this movie is one of those that makes you wonder "what if"?
The animation for it's time is absolutely brilliant and the story is one of the best I've seen in a while.
Megazone 23 part II follows directly on from this and features a rebellion against the oppressive military now has to fight two fronts. the rebellion and the other Megazone.
Megazone 23 part III is ok, but not brilliant, taking place about 100 years later
I first saw this on the Sci-Fi channel, I was about 12 and it was on at about 3am. I originally thought it would be a kids show like Pokemon (because that's what you assumed all anime to be like at that age, this film made me realise that just because its animated, it doesn't mean it's for children) but once I really got into the story, I was hooked.
It's one of the all time anime greats. Sadly though, it is highly unheard of and only those who have seen it know its true brilliance.
Most other people saw this as Robotech: The movie which was basically this film re-cut and interspliced with another project, effectively destroying it... Robotech: The movie was good, but compared to Megazone 23, it's small time.
I recommend anyone who can find it to watch it.
5. Labyrinth
What's it about?
A teenage girl obsessed with fantasy and fairytale (sounds familiar) accidentally gives her baby brother to Jareth, the goblin King, to get him back she has only a handful of hours to conquer the Labyrinth, siege the goblin city and re-claim her brother, or he will remain Jareths forever.
Why do I love it?
This is yet another film I watched as a child, with my mother.
I remember watching it when I was I think either four or five, I'm not quite sure which. I only actually remember that because it was just after Christmas and mum had made me a bacon sandwich... I remember eating more than I could chew and actually choked on the bacon, distinctly remember pulling out a long stringy bit from out of my gullet.
Anyway, the film itself is a wonderful Jim Henson family movie filled with lovable characters (Sir Diddymus rocks!!) a brilliant story, a believable world, a great villain, brilliant songs and so much more.
As the movie goes on you really find yourself rooting for Sarah (the main character, brilliantly played by Jennifer Connelly) as the time winds down and she is only ever making little progress, but it's the support cast that makes this film work, like Hoggle, Sir Diddymus and even Jareth.
I love this film simply because it's something you don't have to think about, just plop it in, sit back and enjoy it.
I cannot wait until I can watch this with my daughter.
6. Alien
What's it about?
An interstellar salvage vessel, the Nostromo picks up a distress signal from an uncharted world (Later revealed to be LV-426 in Aliens) The crew investigate and find a derelict spacecraft which is home to strange dead aliens and a couple hundred eggs.
One of the eggs opens and a strange parasite attaches itself to one of the crew.
Later, the parasite dies and the crew member is ok, but at the dinner table his chest is ripped open by a monstrous creature as it births itself and it soon it begins to meticulously slaughter everyone, one by one
Why do I love it?
One of my favourite types of movie is a traditional haunted house movie... You've got a mean assed ghost, a sprawling mansion and a set of feckless idiots that you know are gonna die... This is what this film, it's a haunted house movie... Replace the ghost with an Alien and the mansion with a huge space ship and bingo. You've got yourself a sci-fi horror flick.
What stands out most is that this film replicates the haunted house film more than you may think, humans who have no clue of how to deal with the attacker, large, empty, shadow filled corridors... And you barely get a look at the attacking beastie until the last minute.
The script writing is also superb, all the characters are believable as is the rather outlandish scenario... Considering we don't know what lurks in the vastness of space, something like this could happen.
The actors give strong performances throughout, the set design is spot on and the atmosphere is creepy.
And the design for the alien (later named the Xenomorph) based on H.R Gigers art work is brilliant because it's so outlandish and absurb... Nobody had even seen a creature like it, it's truly the definition of the word "Alien"
There are also a ton of phallic/rape undertones... The shape of the aliens head, the facehugger, the chestburster, the way it kills off Lambert... And the fact her body was supposedly naked indicated it did the nasty with her.
I'd especially love to see the ending they originally had where the Alien tears off Ripleys head, sits in the cockpit and starts to speak in her voice... Thats fucked up! I love it!
While the film isn't scary any more and considering how tech has advanced it feels slightly outdated, it's still a fantastic film... And there's always a scene that makes me jump.
If you haven't seen it yet... Then you're a bigger loser than I am, and believe me, according to the people I went to school with... I'm a big loser!
Watch it, love it!
7. Grease
What's it about?
When wholesome good girl Sandy and greaser renegade Danny fall in love over the summer, they never expect to see each other again. But when they both discover that they're now attending the same high school, social differences challenge their romance.
Why do I love it?
Who doesn't love this film? Honestly, I think everyone likes this film, whether they admit it or not! No other musical beats this one!
My favourite part of the film is the music, this film has such a brilliant soundtrack. However with a musical film you do find some parts unrealistic when they sing, why would a group of lads sing Summer Nights for example? Yet that aside the songs, mostly corny love songs are addictive and easy to pick up unfortunately will be in your head all day. Grease may not have had a lavish budget like films made today, but this 1978 film directed by Randal Kleiser still manages to have great audience appeal. Its' scenes and costumes are basic and probably didn't break the bank to produce but this all adds to the realism of the film.
I first watched this film when I was like eight with my oldest sister Lillian and from that moment, I was hooked, I love the film and could watch it over and over again.
Newton-John's debut performance is excellent but her character Sandy is too 2D and has no depth. Travolta's performance is to perfection and this film benchmarked his film career.
Danny is 3D, he can be loving, self obsessed, a saviour and a winner, whereas Sandy to me is just a bore. All characters bring something different to the film making it a success.
Rizzo is the hard nosed cow, bitchy about Sandy, possibly jealous, who seeks revenge on her boyfriend by going out with his arch enemy. There is also Marcy who loves the men and has lots of boyfriends, and Frenchy who becomes Sandy's best friend who is caring.
This uplifting, audience grabbing film may be slightly cheesy but there is just so much to love about it, especially the soundtrack and dance moves! This gives it longevity making it such a great film that could be the best musical ever made.
Grease! It's still the word!
8. Paranormal Entity
What's it about?
Paranormal Entity is another one of those hand-held camera movies about a family terrorised by the paranormal (duh) After getting some advice, the family are told to record everything, and they do. From then on, shit just gets worse, especially for the daughter Samantha.
Why do I love it?
Well, considering this is made by Asylum films, a company known for making "Mockbusters" (small budget films made specifically to cash in on a big release) this is the best film they have made to date and the only "knock-off" movie that surpasses the original it's copying Paranormal Activity.
There are several reasons for this.
1. The "haunting" seems far more natural, in Activity it was revealed that the Demon had been after Katie since she was young and eventually it gets and possesses her.
In this, it comes off as more believable because it's just sudden, and the Demon... It's an Incubus. Those things are famous for what they do, you'll have to look it up because I won't spoil the ending.
2. The camera work, this comes off as more natural too, it's not some HD camera, the footage looks like it came from a standard camera that you'd be able to buy any where allowing better believability.
3. The cast. Something about the cast of Activity annoyed me... Well, to tell the truth, the asshole playing the boyfriend annoyed me. He looks and acts like a dick and he even sounds like a dick
The girl who played Katie did a good job, and she's more of a plus sized girl, which is nice to see for a change instead of some super skinny chick who does nothing but piss and moan.
But Entity, the family is believable... Even the Super-hot Erin Marie Hogan who plays Samantha is fantastic, when I first saw her, I though "Wow... Bimbo, I bet she can't act for shit" (Simply based on my experience of low budget films having good looking female leads with zero acting ability)
I was wrong, and I'm glad I was wrong... She did a fantastic job.
4. The script
All in all, it's just more believable, the family are clearly terrified... Not like with the Activity movie where they have that douchebag boyfriend who's still sceptical despite seeing (in a sense) what he's up against.
Yeah, I've talked a lot in depth about this movie... But that's because it was a pure shocker. I put it on expecting trash and what I got was a good, steady horror film.
This film gets on the list because I was pleased with what I witnessed and it's a film I often recommend to friends who haven't seen it. It doesn't get repeated viewings, but it's (in my opinion) a memorable movie that deserves some recognition.
It may not be the best movie ever made, you may not like it if you do watch it, but it's definitely worth watching... If only for the shocker ending (which actually scared me quite a bit)
9. Alice in Wonderland (1951)
What's it about?
A young girl follows a rabbit down a hole and is transported to a land where nothing seems to be what it is, and everything seems to be what it isn't.
In this strange place, Alice meets a variety of characters as she wanders the land and eventually ends up in the court of the Queen of Hearts.
Why do I love it?
Again, I remember watching this with my mother when I was like four... I only remember simply because afterwards there was a bit of time left in the TV schedule slot so they stuck on a couple of Road Runner cartoons to fill the gap.
Strange thing is, I love this film because of what it is, yet I also dislike it... It's extremely dark and depressing and aside from the opening where Alice is singing In a world of my own and at the Mad Hatters tea party, she's not really enjoying herself.
Right from the get-go she's being put through a lot of shit from others... From memory, this is what I recall.
-Her sister scolds her for not listening to the history lesson
-She gets teased by the door knob
-She's forced to run around a fire.
-She gets told the depressing story of the Walrus and the Carpenter by Tweedle-Dum & Tweedle-Dee
-She nearly gets set on fire.
-She's alienated by a bunch of racist flowers.
-She gets told of by the Hatter that she shouldn't sit down uninvited
-When she wants to go home, she cries... The Cheshire cat mocks her.
-The Queen shouts at her
-The Cheshire cat screws her over
-She's sentenced to death
-Finally, she's chased all over Wonderland
That's just what I can remember from the top of my head.
But it is a good film though, the songs are quite catchy, I often find myself singing Painting the roses red and the characters are well rounded. The story I take issue with because it combines both Alice's adventures in Wonderland and Through the looking glass and what Alice found there.
Like most Disney adaptions, this greatly differs from the source material and a lot was left out like the Jabberwock, the Chess game which results with Alice becoming Queen etc.
But it's a good family film, though if you have young children, I'd advise watching it with them as Wonderland does tend to give off a gloomy vibe and characters like the Queen of Hearts can be quite distressing.
Still... It's a bloody good watch and still better the Tim Burtons "Sequel"
10. Indiana Jones and the last crusade
What's it about?
Indiana Jones receives a message from his father from Venice Italy and set about to see what the hubbub is.. It turns out his father has been captured by Nazi's and that they are chasing the fabled Holy Grail.
Indiana Jones must then rescue his father and beat the Germans to the Holy Grail so balance and peace can remain (to a point) throughout the world
Why do I love it?
Erm... Because it's Indiana Jones... Duh.
Indiana Jones, the man, the legend, the whip. Everyone I know has seen at least one of the Indiana Jones movies and usually Raiders of the Lost Ark is their favourite.
Now I loved Raiders of the Lost Ark, I also really loved Temple of Doom even though it gets a lot of hate for it's darkness. But The Last Crusade is my favourite of the original trilogy (I still don't know what to make about the fourth) and the strongest in my opinion. For goodness's sake we have Sean Connery as Indiana's father, how could we get any better than that? I love his way of saying "Junior!", always gets me in a good chuckle.
Harrison Ford still has that same Indy charm that swoons the ladies, the adventure that captivates the guys and takes us on an incredible journey that we'll never forget.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is definitely one of my favourite movies of all time, it's just a flawless movie that will always be timeless.
My daughter and whatever sibling(s) she may have down the line will watch these movies, they're just a lot of fun. Who said archaeology can't be fun? This also has one of the most exciting chase scenes of all time, Indiana is trying to rescue his father and a friend from a Nazi tank and he is on a horse, a brutal fight ensues and was just so exciting to watch.
I've watched this movie since I was a little girl and I still watch it with pleasure today, even with my friends we love watching Indiana and his adventures.
They're an absolute blast and if you haven't seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, please take the first opportunity you have to watch it, it's a great movie.
I love movies, they're a big part of my life... But these are my top 10 of all time.
In this post I shall name them, give a brief description and tell you just why I love them.
And in no particular order... Let's begin.
1. The Little Mermaid
What's it about?
It's a Disney adaption of the famous book by Hans Christian Anderson, it tells the story of a curious mermaid princess and her obsession with humans.
Her curiosity with a particular human causes her to fall in love and so she makes a deal with the sea witch so that she may be with him.
Why do I love it?
The film greatly varies from the original book and the two can be considered two completely different things in comparison.
Like most Disney adaptions of famous fairytales, it has been greatly toned down for a family audience, but it's still a great film and the story is superb.
The art direction is still great, even by todays standards and it was one of the first animated films to make use of CG.
It's bright and vibrant and colourful, the characters are extremely lovable and the songs are catchy and you'll find yourself singing them even days after you've watched the film.
Plus, I also remember watching this with my mother... We used to watch this film all the time, it's my best memory of her and every time I watch this film, it feels as if she's still watching it with me.
2. Alien Abduction: The McPherson tape
What's it about?
Also known as Alien Abduction: Incident in lake county to those of you in the USA. This film is one of those "it actually happened" movies, like The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity and shot with a hand-held camera.
It starts off with a family who has gathered together to celebrate Thanksgiving when the power goes out.
The three brothers go to investigate the source of the outage and stumble upon some aliens experimenting on cows.
The aliens see them and the brothers run back to the house, from here the family is terrorised in their own home by the visitors as they start picking off the family members one by one.
Why do I love it?
I first saw this when I was 11 years old, I watched it alone and in the dark... I actually believe it was real and it terrified me.
I've never like Aliens/Greys/Zetas or whatever you want to call them, they're creepy little fukcers with there big heads and large, slanted oval eyes. I'm scared to death of them
Even more, I'm scared to death of being "abducted" simply because they force you to forget about the experience.
The idea of going through something so traumatic and scary and not even remembering... That's just wrong.
I feel the family in this film is portrayed quite well and they actually come off as a believable family, the camera work is good and so are the SFX, or what little there is. It plays out a bit like a haunted house movie where there is a group of people that get picked off by the ghost one-by-one until they're all dead/only one survivor... Except this time they're aliens.
It's not scary to me any more, but it's still a good little film made exceptionally well considering its obvious low budget.
3. The War of The Worlds (1953)
What's it about?
A 1953 contemporary re-telling of H.G Wells 1898 book about a Martian invasion in Victorian England.
The film takes place this time in California and it differs quite differently from the book, like The Little Mermaid, the two mediums can be viewed as two different things, but share the same name.
A meteor crash lands and Martian war machines spring forth a couple of days later and the invaders begin systematically wiping out all human life, this happens the world over but we only see things from the point of Dr. Forrester and Ms. Van-Buren.
Eventually the invaders are destroyed, not by man, but by bacteria... They had no immunity to Earths diseases.
Why I love it:
I first saw this when I was 6 with my mum, actually a couple of months before she died and while the film didn't scare me, the idea of other life invading our planet did.
I used to have nightmares about it. This is the film that started me believing in alien life.
For a 1950's B movie, it holds up really well, even by todays standards and I find this version to be vastly superior to Spielbergs 2005 re-make (and all the other re-visionings of the story over the years)
The special effects were well done and still look great, even 58 years on and the film does a good job of capturing the hysteria of humanity during such a crisis.
The film spawned somewhat of a sequel in the 1980's TV series by the same name which I also found quite enjoyable... Especially when you get to see the iconic war machines once more.
This film is a must see top anybody who like sci-fi.
4. Megazone 23 Part I
What's it about?
A teenager, Shogo, from Tokyo Japan in the 1980's finds a motorcycle that is part of a secret government experiment, through further investigation he finds that the world he lives in is false and in reality it's a spaceship designed for colonising the human race while the Earth re-sustains itself, and it's 100 years later.
Another Megazone initiates attack at the two go to war, in the world itself everything starts going to shit as the military starts to take over.
Why do I love it?
Well, aside from being one of the main influences for the Matrix trilogy, this movie is one of those that makes you wonder "what if"?
The animation for it's time is absolutely brilliant and the story is one of the best I've seen in a while.
Megazone 23 part II follows directly on from this and features a rebellion against the oppressive military now has to fight two fronts. the rebellion and the other Megazone.
Megazone 23 part III is ok, but not brilliant, taking place about 100 years later
I first saw this on the Sci-Fi channel, I was about 12 and it was on at about 3am. I originally thought it would be a kids show like Pokemon (because that's what you assumed all anime to be like at that age, this film made me realise that just because its animated, it doesn't mean it's for children) but once I really got into the story, I was hooked.
It's one of the all time anime greats. Sadly though, it is highly unheard of and only those who have seen it know its true brilliance.
Most other people saw this as Robotech: The movie which was basically this film re-cut and interspliced with another project, effectively destroying it... Robotech: The movie was good, but compared to Megazone 23, it's small time.
I recommend anyone who can find it to watch it.
5. Labyrinth
What's it about?
A teenage girl obsessed with fantasy and fairytale (sounds familiar) accidentally gives her baby brother to Jareth, the goblin King, to get him back she has only a handful of hours to conquer the Labyrinth, siege the goblin city and re-claim her brother, or he will remain Jareths forever.
Why do I love it?
This is yet another film I watched as a child, with my mother.
I remember watching it when I was I think either four or five, I'm not quite sure which. I only actually remember that because it was just after Christmas and mum had made me a bacon sandwich... I remember eating more than I could chew and actually choked on the bacon, distinctly remember pulling out a long stringy bit from out of my gullet.
Anyway, the film itself is a wonderful Jim Henson family movie filled with lovable characters (Sir Diddymus rocks!!) a brilliant story, a believable world, a great villain, brilliant songs and so much more.
As the movie goes on you really find yourself rooting for Sarah (the main character, brilliantly played by Jennifer Connelly) as the time winds down and she is only ever making little progress, but it's the support cast that makes this film work, like Hoggle, Sir Diddymus and even Jareth.
I love this film simply because it's something you don't have to think about, just plop it in, sit back and enjoy it.
I cannot wait until I can watch this with my daughter.
6. Alien
What's it about?
An interstellar salvage vessel, the Nostromo picks up a distress signal from an uncharted world (Later revealed to be LV-426 in Aliens) The crew investigate and find a derelict spacecraft which is home to strange dead aliens and a couple hundred eggs.
One of the eggs opens and a strange parasite attaches itself to one of the crew.
Later, the parasite dies and the crew member is ok, but at the dinner table his chest is ripped open by a monstrous creature as it births itself and it soon it begins to meticulously slaughter everyone, one by one
Why do I love it?
One of my favourite types of movie is a traditional haunted house movie... You've got a mean assed ghost, a sprawling mansion and a set of feckless idiots that you know are gonna die... This is what this film, it's a haunted house movie... Replace the ghost with an Alien and the mansion with a huge space ship and bingo. You've got yourself a sci-fi horror flick.
What stands out most is that this film replicates the haunted house film more than you may think, humans who have no clue of how to deal with the attacker, large, empty, shadow filled corridors... And you barely get a look at the attacking beastie until the last minute.
The script writing is also superb, all the characters are believable as is the rather outlandish scenario... Considering we don't know what lurks in the vastness of space, something like this could happen.
The actors give strong performances throughout, the set design is spot on and the atmosphere is creepy.
And the design for the alien (later named the Xenomorph) based on H.R Gigers art work is brilliant because it's so outlandish and absurb... Nobody had even seen a creature like it, it's truly the definition of the word "Alien"
There are also a ton of phallic/rape undertones... The shape of the aliens head, the facehugger, the chestburster, the way it kills off Lambert... And the fact her body was supposedly naked indicated it did the nasty with her.
I'd especially love to see the ending they originally had where the Alien tears off Ripleys head, sits in the cockpit and starts to speak in her voice... Thats fucked up! I love it!
While the film isn't scary any more and considering how tech has advanced it feels slightly outdated, it's still a fantastic film... And there's always a scene that makes me jump.
If you haven't seen it yet... Then you're a bigger loser than I am, and believe me, according to the people I went to school with... I'm a big loser!
Watch it, love it!
7. Grease
What's it about?
When wholesome good girl Sandy and greaser renegade Danny fall in love over the summer, they never expect to see each other again. But when they both discover that they're now attending the same high school, social differences challenge their romance.
Why do I love it?
Who doesn't love this film? Honestly, I think everyone likes this film, whether they admit it or not! No other musical beats this one!
My favourite part of the film is the music, this film has such a brilliant soundtrack. However with a musical film you do find some parts unrealistic when they sing, why would a group of lads sing Summer Nights for example? Yet that aside the songs, mostly corny love songs are addictive and easy to pick up unfortunately will be in your head all day. Grease may not have had a lavish budget like films made today, but this 1978 film directed by Randal Kleiser still manages to have great audience appeal. Its' scenes and costumes are basic and probably didn't break the bank to produce but this all adds to the realism of the film.
I first watched this film when I was like eight with my oldest sister Lillian and from that moment, I was hooked, I love the film and could watch it over and over again.
Newton-John's debut performance is excellent but her character Sandy is too 2D and has no depth. Travolta's performance is to perfection and this film benchmarked his film career.
Danny is 3D, he can be loving, self obsessed, a saviour and a winner, whereas Sandy to me is just a bore. All characters bring something different to the film making it a success.
Rizzo is the hard nosed cow, bitchy about Sandy, possibly jealous, who seeks revenge on her boyfriend by going out with his arch enemy. There is also Marcy who loves the men and has lots of boyfriends, and Frenchy who becomes Sandy's best friend who is caring.
This uplifting, audience grabbing film may be slightly cheesy but there is just so much to love about it, especially the soundtrack and dance moves! This gives it longevity making it such a great film that could be the best musical ever made.
Grease! It's still the word!
8. Paranormal Entity
What's it about?
Paranormal Entity is another one of those hand-held camera movies about a family terrorised by the paranormal (duh) After getting some advice, the family are told to record everything, and they do. From then on, shit just gets worse, especially for the daughter Samantha.
Why do I love it?
Well, considering this is made by Asylum films, a company known for making "Mockbusters" (small budget films made specifically to cash in on a big release) this is the best film they have made to date and the only "knock-off" movie that surpasses the original it's copying Paranormal Activity.
There are several reasons for this.
1. The "haunting" seems far more natural, in Activity it was revealed that the Demon had been after Katie since she was young and eventually it gets and possesses her.
In this, it comes off as more believable because it's just sudden, and the Demon... It's an Incubus. Those things are famous for what they do, you'll have to look it up because I won't spoil the ending.
2. The camera work, this comes off as more natural too, it's not some HD camera, the footage looks like it came from a standard camera that you'd be able to buy any where allowing better believability.
3. The cast. Something about the cast of Activity annoyed me... Well, to tell the truth, the asshole playing the boyfriend annoyed me. He looks and acts like a dick and he even sounds like a dick
The girl who played Katie did a good job, and she's more of a plus sized girl, which is nice to see for a change instead of some super skinny chick who does nothing but piss and moan.
But Entity, the family is believable... Even the Super-hot Erin Marie Hogan who plays Samantha is fantastic, when I first saw her, I though "Wow... Bimbo, I bet she can't act for shit" (Simply based on my experience of low budget films having good looking female leads with zero acting ability)
I was wrong, and I'm glad I was wrong... She did a fantastic job.
4. The script
All in all, it's just more believable, the family are clearly terrified... Not like with the Activity movie where they have that douchebag boyfriend who's still sceptical despite seeing (in a sense) what he's up against.
Yeah, I've talked a lot in depth about this movie... But that's because it was a pure shocker. I put it on expecting trash and what I got was a good, steady horror film.
This film gets on the list because I was pleased with what I witnessed and it's a film I often recommend to friends who haven't seen it. It doesn't get repeated viewings, but it's (in my opinion) a memorable movie that deserves some recognition.
It may not be the best movie ever made, you may not like it if you do watch it, but it's definitely worth watching... If only for the shocker ending (which actually scared me quite a bit)
9. Alice in Wonderland (1951)
What's it about?
A young girl follows a rabbit down a hole and is transported to a land where nothing seems to be what it is, and everything seems to be what it isn't.
In this strange place, Alice meets a variety of characters as she wanders the land and eventually ends up in the court of the Queen of Hearts.
Why do I love it?
Again, I remember watching this with my mother when I was like four... I only remember simply because afterwards there was a bit of time left in the TV schedule slot so they stuck on a couple of Road Runner cartoons to fill the gap.
Strange thing is, I love this film because of what it is, yet I also dislike it... It's extremely dark and depressing and aside from the opening where Alice is singing In a world of my own and at the Mad Hatters tea party, she's not really enjoying herself.
Right from the get-go she's being put through a lot of shit from others... From memory, this is what I recall.
-Her sister scolds her for not listening to the history lesson
-She gets teased by the door knob
-She's forced to run around a fire.
-She gets told the depressing story of the Walrus and the Carpenter by Tweedle-Dum & Tweedle-Dee
-She nearly gets set on fire.
-She's alienated by a bunch of racist flowers.
-She gets told of by the Hatter that she shouldn't sit down uninvited
-When she wants to go home, she cries... The Cheshire cat mocks her.
-The Queen shouts at her
-The Cheshire cat screws her over
-She's sentenced to death
-Finally, she's chased all over Wonderland
That's just what I can remember from the top of my head.
But it is a good film though, the songs are quite catchy, I often find myself singing Painting the roses red and the characters are well rounded. The story I take issue with because it combines both Alice's adventures in Wonderland and Through the looking glass and what Alice found there.
Like most Disney adaptions, this greatly differs from the source material and a lot was left out like the Jabberwock, the Chess game which results with Alice becoming Queen etc.
But it's a good family film, though if you have young children, I'd advise watching it with them as Wonderland does tend to give off a gloomy vibe and characters like the Queen of Hearts can be quite distressing.
Still... It's a bloody good watch and still better the Tim Burtons "Sequel"
10. Indiana Jones and the last crusade
What's it about?
Indiana Jones receives a message from his father from Venice Italy and set about to see what the hubbub is.. It turns out his father has been captured by Nazi's and that they are chasing the fabled Holy Grail.
Indiana Jones must then rescue his father and beat the Germans to the Holy Grail so balance and peace can remain (to a point) throughout the world
Why do I love it?
Erm... Because it's Indiana Jones... Duh.
Indiana Jones, the man, the legend, the whip. Everyone I know has seen at least one of the Indiana Jones movies and usually Raiders of the Lost Ark is their favourite.
Now I loved Raiders of the Lost Ark, I also really loved Temple of Doom even though it gets a lot of hate for it's darkness. But The Last Crusade is my favourite of the original trilogy (I still don't know what to make about the fourth) and the strongest in my opinion. For goodness's sake we have Sean Connery as Indiana's father, how could we get any better than that? I love his way of saying "Junior!", always gets me in a good chuckle.
Harrison Ford still has that same Indy charm that swoons the ladies, the adventure that captivates the guys and takes us on an incredible journey that we'll never forget.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is definitely one of my favourite movies of all time, it's just a flawless movie that will always be timeless.
My daughter and whatever sibling(s) she may have down the line will watch these movies, they're just a lot of fun. Who said archaeology can't be fun? This also has one of the most exciting chase scenes of all time, Indiana is trying to rescue his father and a friend from a Nazi tank and he is on a horse, a brutal fight ensues and was just so exciting to watch.
I've watched this movie since I was a little girl and I still watch it with pleasure today, even with my friends we love watching Indiana and his adventures.
They're an absolute blast and if you haven't seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, please take the first opportunity you have to watch it, it's a great movie.
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Zombie Apocalypse.
Yeah, I know. It's a grim topic.
This was originally going to be a post about my top 10 favourite movies and why I love them... But that's going to take some time to do... So, it'll be up next week.
For today however, 5 reasons as to why a zombie apocalypse might realistically happen.
As you may have read in a previous entry, I have a zombie writing project planned with my husband once I finish the Faerie-Tale saga.
This was written whilst out we were planning the story, trying to realise just what would start a zombie apocalypse,because a simple virus is all too easy, we read books about it, watched numerous films, played a hell of a lot of games and watched tons of documentaries... And this, in our opinion why it could actually happen in terms of an outbreak starting.
5. Brain parasites
What are they?
Parasites that turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves are fairly common in nature. There's one called toxoplasmosa gondii that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.
This bug infects rats, but can only breed inside the intestines of a cat. The parasite knows it needs to get the rat inside the cat (yes, I realise this sounds like the beginning of the most fucked-up Dr. Seuss poem ever) so the parasite takes over the rat's brain, and intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn't even know.
Of course, those are just rats, right?
How it can result in zombies?
Hey, did I mention that half the human population on Earth is infected with toxoplasmosa, and don't know it? Hey, maybe you're one of them. Flip a coin.
Oh, also, they've done studies and shown that the infected see a change in their personality and have a higher chance of going batshit insane.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Humans and rats aren't all that different; that's why they use them to test our drugs. All it takes is a more evolved version of toxoplasmosa, one that could to do us what it does to the rats. So, imagine if half the world suddenly had no instinct for self-preservation or rational thought. Even less than they do now, I mean.
If you're comforting yourself with the thought that it may take forever for such a parasite to evolve, you're forgetting about all the biological weapons programs around the world, intentionally weaponising such bugs. You've got to wonder if the lab workers don't carry out their work under the unwitting command of the toxoplasmosa gondii already in their brains. If you don't want to sleep at night, that is.
You may be protesting that technically these people have never been dead and thus don't fit the dictionary definition of "zombies," but we can assure you that the distinction won't matter a whole lot once these groaning hordes are clawing their way through your windows.
4. Neurotoxins
What are they?
There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you'll be considered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.
The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called alkaloids) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform simple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.
How it can result in zombies?
"Can?" How about "does."
This stuff has happened in Haiti; that's where the word "zombie" comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Passage of Darkness and The Serpent and the Rainbow). Yes, the movie The Serpent and the Rainbow was based on this guy's actual science stuff.
How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. My husband hopes that part wasn't true.
What is definitely true is the story of Clairvius Narcisse. He was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. It turned out the local voodoo priests had been using naturally occurring chemicals to basically zombify people and putting them to work on the sugar plantations (no, really).
So, the next time you're pouring a little packet of sugar into your coffee, remember that it may have been handled by a zombie at some point.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
On the one hand, it's already fucking happened! So that earns it some street cred right off the bat. But, even if some evil genius intentionally distributed alkaloid toxins to a population to turn them into a shambling, mindless horde, there is no way to make these zombies aggressive or cannabalistic.
Yet.
3. The Real Rage Virus
What is it?
In the movie 28 Days Later, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing.
They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.
And, when humans eat the meat ...
How it can result in zombies?
When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:
-Changes in gait (walking)
-Hallucinations
-Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
-Muscle twitching
-Myoclonic jerks or seizures
-Rapidly developing delirium or dementia
Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think) and the afflicted aren't known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.
But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
If the whole sudden, mindless violence idea seems far-fetched, remember that you are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they've tested it by putting rats in Deathmatch-style cages and watching them turn on each other). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain's ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it's a real-world 28 Days Later.
So, imagine such an evolved disease, which I'll call Super Mad Cow (or, Madder Cow) getting a foothold through the food supply. Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.
Just like the movie. With one bite, you're suddenly the worst kind of zombie:
A fast zombie.
2. Neurogenesis
What is it?
You know all that controversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists is neurogenesis, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.
You can see where this is going.
How it can result in zombies?
You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this post? Well, here you go, you creepy bastards.
Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you're gone. Right?
Well, not for long. They're already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.
Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.
That sounds great, right? Well, this lab dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.
You don't need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you'll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey's Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they've been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived for 18 months without a head).
So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I like to call a real, live, undead fucking zombie. So there.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labour.
How long until somebody tries this? I'm betting somebody in the world, maybe North Korea, will have a working zombie by Christmas.
1. Nanobots
What are they?
Nanobots are a technology that science apparently engineered to make you terrified of the future. We're talking about microscopic, self-replicating robots that can invisibly build--or destroy--anything.
Vast sums of money are being poured into nanotechnology. Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens.
How it can result in zombies?
Scientists have already created a nano-cyborg, by fusing a tiny silicone chip to a virus. The first thing they found out is these cyborgs can still operate for up to a month after the death of the host. Notice how nano scientists went right for zombification, even at this early stage. They know where the horror is.
According to studies, within a decade they'll have nanobots that can crawl inside your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. That's right; the nanobots will be able to rewire your thoughts. What could possibly go wrong?
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Do the math, people.
Some day there will be nanobots in your brain. Those nanobots will be programmed to keep functioning after you die. They can form their own neural pathways, meaning they can use your brain to keep operating your limbs after you've deceased and, presumably, right up until you rot to pieces in mid-stride.
The nanobots will be programmed to self-replicate, and the death of the host will mean the end of the nanobots.
To preserve themselves, they'd need to transfer to a new host. Therefore, the last act of the nanobot zombie would be to bite a hole in a healthy victim, letting the nanobots steam in and set up camp in the new host.
Once in, they can shut down the part of the brain that resists (the cortex) and leave the brain stem intact. They will have added a new member to the unholy army of the undead.
Now, it should be more than clear by this point that my goal was to be a responsible researcher into this shit.
I don't want to create a panic here. All I'm saying is that on an actual day on the actual calendar in the future, runaway microscopic nanobots will end civilization by flooding the planet with the cannibalistic undead.
Science has proven it.
This was originally going to be a post about my top 10 favourite movies and why I love them... But that's going to take some time to do... So, it'll be up next week.
For today however, 5 reasons as to why a zombie apocalypse might realistically happen.
As you may have read in a previous entry, I have a zombie writing project planned with my husband once I finish the Faerie-Tale saga.
This was written whilst out we were planning the story, trying to realise just what would start a zombie apocalypse,because a simple virus is all too easy, we read books about it, watched numerous films, played a hell of a lot of games and watched tons of documentaries... And this, in our opinion why it could actually happen in terms of an outbreak starting.
5. Brain parasites
What are they?
Parasites that turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves are fairly common in nature. There's one called toxoplasmosa gondii that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.
This bug infects rats, but can only breed inside the intestines of a cat. The parasite knows it needs to get the rat inside the cat (yes, I realise this sounds like the beginning of the most fucked-up Dr. Seuss poem ever) so the parasite takes over the rat's brain, and intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn't even know.
Of course, those are just rats, right?
How it can result in zombies?
Hey, did I mention that half the human population on Earth is infected with toxoplasmosa, and don't know it? Hey, maybe you're one of them. Flip a coin.
Oh, also, they've done studies and shown that the infected see a change in their personality and have a higher chance of going batshit insane.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Humans and rats aren't all that different; that's why they use them to test our drugs. All it takes is a more evolved version of toxoplasmosa, one that could to do us what it does to the rats. So, imagine if half the world suddenly had no instinct for self-preservation or rational thought. Even less than they do now, I mean.
If you're comforting yourself with the thought that it may take forever for such a parasite to evolve, you're forgetting about all the biological weapons programs around the world, intentionally weaponising such bugs. You've got to wonder if the lab workers don't carry out their work under the unwitting command of the toxoplasmosa gondii already in their brains. If you don't want to sleep at night, that is.
You may be protesting that technically these people have never been dead and thus don't fit the dictionary definition of "zombies," but we can assure you that the distinction won't matter a whole lot once these groaning hordes are clawing their way through your windows.
4. Neurotoxins
What are they?
There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you'll be considered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.
The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called alkaloids) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform simple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.
How it can result in zombies?
"Can?" How about "does."
This stuff has happened in Haiti; that's where the word "zombie" comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Passage of Darkness and The Serpent and the Rainbow). Yes, the movie The Serpent and the Rainbow was based on this guy's actual science stuff.
How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. My husband hopes that part wasn't true.
What is definitely true is the story of Clairvius Narcisse. He was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. It turned out the local voodoo priests had been using naturally occurring chemicals to basically zombify people and putting them to work on the sugar plantations (no, really).
So, the next time you're pouring a little packet of sugar into your coffee, remember that it may have been handled by a zombie at some point.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
On the one hand, it's already fucking happened! So that earns it some street cred right off the bat. But, even if some evil genius intentionally distributed alkaloid toxins to a population to turn them into a shambling, mindless horde, there is no way to make these zombies aggressive or cannabalistic.
Yet.
3. The Real Rage Virus
What is it?
In the movie 28 Days Later, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing.
They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.
And, when humans eat the meat ...
How it can result in zombies?
When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:
-Changes in gait (walking)
-Hallucinations
-Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
-Muscle twitching
-Myoclonic jerks or seizures
-Rapidly developing delirium or dementia
Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think) and the afflicted aren't known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.
But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
If the whole sudden, mindless violence idea seems far-fetched, remember that you are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they've tested it by putting rats in Deathmatch-style cages and watching them turn on each other). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain's ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it's a real-world 28 Days Later.
So, imagine such an evolved disease, which I'll call Super Mad Cow (or, Madder Cow) getting a foothold through the food supply. Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.
Just like the movie. With one bite, you're suddenly the worst kind of zombie:
A fast zombie.
2. Neurogenesis
What is it?
You know all that controversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists is neurogenesis, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.
You can see where this is going.
How it can result in zombies?
You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this post? Well, here you go, you creepy bastards.
Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you're gone. Right?
Well, not for long. They're already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.
Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.
That sounds great, right? Well, this lab dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.
You don't need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you'll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey's Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they've been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived for 18 months without a head).
So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I like to call a real, live, undead fucking zombie. So there.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labour.
How long until somebody tries this? I'm betting somebody in the world, maybe North Korea, will have a working zombie by Christmas.
1. Nanobots
What are they?
Nanobots are a technology that science apparently engineered to make you terrified of the future. We're talking about microscopic, self-replicating robots that can invisibly build--or destroy--anything.
Vast sums of money are being poured into nanotechnology. Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens.
How it can result in zombies?
Scientists have already created a nano-cyborg, by fusing a tiny silicone chip to a virus. The first thing they found out is these cyborgs can still operate for up to a month after the death of the host. Notice how nano scientists went right for zombification, even at this early stage. They know where the horror is.
According to studies, within a decade they'll have nanobots that can crawl inside your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. That's right; the nanobots will be able to rewire your thoughts. What could possibly go wrong?
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Do the math, people.
Some day there will be nanobots in your brain. Those nanobots will be programmed to keep functioning after you die. They can form their own neural pathways, meaning they can use your brain to keep operating your limbs after you've deceased and, presumably, right up until you rot to pieces in mid-stride.
The nanobots will be programmed to self-replicate, and the death of the host will mean the end of the nanobots.
To preserve themselves, they'd need to transfer to a new host. Therefore, the last act of the nanobot zombie would be to bite a hole in a healthy victim, letting the nanobots steam in and set up camp in the new host.
Once in, they can shut down the part of the brain that resists (the cortex) and leave the brain stem intact. They will have added a new member to the unholy army of the undead.
Now, it should be more than clear by this point that my goal was to be a responsible researcher into this shit.
I don't want to create a panic here. All I'm saying is that on an actual day on the actual calendar in the future, runaway microscopic nanobots will end civilization by flooding the planet with the cannibalistic undead.
Science has proven it.
Monday, 13 June 2011
What the hell?
I frightened myself to death this morning!
A bird squawked outside my window and woke me up so scared that I had a numb hand. then me being me, I thought I wad having a stroke!
Bloody stupid fucking demon bird!
A bird squawked outside my window and woke me up so scared that I had a numb hand. then me being me, I thought I wad having a stroke!
Bloody stupid fucking demon bird!
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