Resident Evil and Lava ~SPOILERS~

Now this rant isn't some kind of make-or-break on the franchise, the game, or anything like that. The stories have been particularly goofy lately, so I'm not even that surprised. But it is one thing that has really bugged me with the last two RE games...

There are ending spoilers for RE5 and RE6 in this topic.

One of my biggest pet peeves about RE5 was the entire final chapter. I think we're all pretty much in agreement that the climactic showdown with Wesker was ridiculous. (No human can PUNCH a boulder to move it.) But what bothers me the most is how ridiculously unrealistic it is (even for Resident Evil).

And it's all because of the lava (well, it's actually magma, but people know it better as lava so I'll stick with that)

Of course, RE isn't the only one at fault. No one gets lava right. Volcano and Dante's Peak are horribly inaccurate movies. But it drove me nutty in RE5, and it's driving me nutty again because... It all came back in RE6 (as much as I hoped it wouldn't.)

For those unfamiliar with RE5, the final chapter has a plane (carrying Chris, Sheva, and Wesker) crash-landing inside of a VOLCANO. Emerging from the plane, Wesker mutates with Uroboros and gives chase (read: cumbersome stroll). After being defeated, he falls into the lava. While WADING and screaming in the lava, Chris and Sheva attempt to escape by helicopter. Wesker extends his tentacles up and grabs the helicopter, so they finish him off with an RPG to the face.

First of all, lava is not water. A human falling into lava would have a similar effect to throwing a styrofoam cup into motor oil. The density is so different that you wouldn't splash around or even really sink. You would actually need quite a bit of velocity to even make a dent. In theory, were you to have the correct heat resistant materials, you could walk on lava.

One might argue that something as big as Ustatank would probably make more of a dent in the surface than a normal human being, but it's not like cannon balling into a swimming pool. Lava is more like sludge.

Second, no normal human being can be that close to lava without instantly suffocating from the intense heat and toxic fumes. This especially bothers me in RE6 when you're literally running around ON TOP OF IT while fighting the Ustatank.

Speaking of Ustatank, something with that much metal on him is probably going to start warping being that close to lava, especially after falling into it.

Third, on the subject of falling into lava... It keeps being depicted like it just burns really bad, kind of like acid or boiling water. Truth is... You pretty much instantly dry up from the intense heat and burst with steam, then catch fire, and quickly you are reduced to ash. You can't wade in it, especially when you're comprised of Uroboros, a creature that has a continually-emphasized weakness to fire throughout the game.

So yeah... Pet peeve of mine.